Mammoths, Giant rats, minature elephants, hobbits and the like

I just had to post about this.

The discussion in the office this afternoon, revolved around the idea of bringing back the Whooly Mammoth, and progressed to the magical island Flores, where scientists have found the remains of Dwarf elephants (about the size of a buffalo), Rodents of Unusual Size (about 1 meter), hobbit sized people and komodo dragons.

A little background info may be requierd. Around the office, or at least in the creative department I have become known as the "did you know guy", or the FYI guy and other names of the sort. Because when an idea pops into my head, or a topic is brought up that interests me, or poses a question, i always find it nesacary yo look into it (like how coffee beans are not beans...its true)

these research expeditions can sometimes last a matter of minutes, or get spread out throughout the day, they can even occasionally last for days.

But not only do i research new topics, i also retain a vast amount of random facts and tidbits. so topics can easily seque into other bizzar and entertaining if not informative veins.

So from a random conversation to cloneing the mammoth. My coworker didnt belive me that they could do it, but was amazed when i told him that they had found a frozen mammoth in Siberia or the like...not amazed that it had happend, but at the fact that i knew about it.

And the next hour was spent inbetween working, discussing mammoths and how the word is decieving because it doesnt acctually mean big at all. (another topic to be sure), how we could/should bring them back, and then onto the island of misfits, which was also somthing i had prior knowledge of, the grolar bear, a cross between a polar bear and a grizzly (which has happend in captivity but only ever found once in the wild), the strange creature found in Maine this summer that looks liek a warewolf, and the awsomeness of bioluminescent animals.

Anyway, it all led to some humorous disscusions, comments and jomes...even reaching a climax when a coworker who sits literally 5 feet away from me, called my phone to tell me to shut up about polar bears.

I hope i might have raised your interest in strange and bizzar topics, and I encourage you to research things to thier full conclusion, so you too can be know as the office FYI guy...or gal

The Set List

Welcome to The Jungle
It's So Easy
Mr. Brownstone
Live And Let Die
Better
Robin Guitar Solo & Jam (with Dizzy & Frank)
Sweet Child O' Mine
Knockin' On Heaven's Door
You Could Be Mine
Dizzy Piano Solo (Angie)
The Blues
Rocket Queen
Richard Guitar Solo
Richard & Robin Guitar Duet (Angel)
Out Ta Get Me
Piano Moving Jam
November Rain
Down On The Farm
IRS
Ron Guitar Solo (Oh Canada, Don't Cry)
My Michelle (with Sebastian Bach)
Liquor & Whores (with Bubbles)
Used To Love Her
Patience
Nightrain

ENCORE

Madagascar
Chinese Democracy

Paradise City

Guns N Roses Concert Review...AKA

So Guns N F'in Roses.

I went to the last canadian tour, in Edmonton Last night. What follows is my review/ description of the of the evening. Each section will get a new heading...the special thing about these headings is they were all alternate titles for this post/review, but there was just so many of them. Enjoy...

So I got free tickets to the Guns n roses concert in Edmonton Via my kick ass job at a radio station. After a bit of a struggle i was able to contact my one friend that lives in Edmonton.

After work on Thursday I drove to the city, met up with my friend and we headed to the show shortly after. Now we were aware that the show was going to be long, and run super late, but there was a reason for getting there early.

Enter sub title one.

* Dissapointing Naked Girls*
The very opening act of the show is the suicide Girl Burlesque show. For those unfamilier with the suicide gilrs..its a web site, where females of the goth culture congregate, share racy photos of themsleve decked out in the latest in goth fashion, talk about death and all that..or at least thats what it was before the cooperate machine got a hold of it...needless to say I am a fan...I love beautiful women and i have a thing for goth chicks. Now dont get me wrong the show was great, som very talented girls., one girl was doing some crazy tallented stuff with a hoola-hoop...no this isnt a dirty thing, just spinning it in amazing fashion.
The girls were all hot, doing a number of quick outfit changes, and dancing. one bit involved girls in stewardess outfits, dragging luggage behind them..when lo and behold another girl unfurlas herself from the non to big piece of travel ware....the finale involved bikinis, bottles of chocolatte syrup and plenty of sticky girl on girl T and A chocolatte smearing...this was not as "sexy" as perported (is that the right word?)...really, just messy....but the dissapointment comes from the fact that although very attractive, non of the girls were all together "goth" If i am promised goth, and expect goth, and dont get goth..well you get the idea.

ON WITH THE SHOW....

i dont acctualy have a sub title for this part cause we pretty much ignored this act and chatted.
The first musical act was a band called Helmut...while having heard good things about them, they really just sucked live..maybe they are better on the albums, but thats it..noithing else to say...ater they played for half an hour ..9-9:30, there was a 30 minut intermission

ON WITH THE SHOW....

* That Sebastian Bach has a dirty dirty mouth*

This part of the show was phenominal, Sebastian was full of energy, national pride and entertainment and it all spewed forth from his form...along with an unending tirade of vulgarities and F bombs the likes of which i have not seen for a LONG time.

everything was puncuated with swears, he said many great things , just interupted by the swearing alot. my fave parts i think where he did a whole "i know, that you know that i know that you know bit, about canada kicking ass and being responsible for Sebastian bach. the other fave was when he talked about the reality TV super group.he syas somthing along the lines of...
"you remeber that episode that i said i quit drinking?...I F***ing lied (with wahh wahh wahh music) no one tells me F***ing drinking aint good, i can drink a F***in labatts F***ing blue whenever the F*** i F***in want to"..and then went on to screw up an insult aimed at ted nugent...all in all Sebatian Bach was F***in kick F***ing Ass. (now for 1 hour intermission)

ON WITH THE SHOW

GUN's N ROSES - takes to the stage..aka...axl rose and some fucks play some GNR songs

The show was great, let me just clear that up..besides it problems, i so enjoyed this show.

So Axl and current crew took to the stage at 5 to 12..thats right the acctual show started at midnight.
(this is all out of order, i'm just going to type it as i remeber it)

they played a couple songs, the the one guitarist got a 10 minute guitar solo....and it sucked....this guy was hairy, and big beared, dressed like an idiot...and his guitar playing skills basicaly involved fast moving fingers makeing a shit load of noise...seriously this guy made me so angry through out the show...i am pretty sure with a cheapeffects pedal and a cheap guitar i could play to a calibre equal to this SHITE.

and one point axl is singing and he stops dead, leans over , and sya, hey...turn the fucking music down, bring it down, and turn some lights on...im thinking oh shit, whats going on, is he gonna freak and cancel the show?...no..he tells everyone on the floor to settle donw, and take 2 giant steps back cause people at the front are getting crushed and hurt...that was so fucking cool of him.

The show continues, another guitar solo, this time from bumble foot...thats right his name is bumblefoot..now he is acctually good at playing guitar and made some of the good kind of nise...but then he started playing oh canada...and it was fucking terrible...there was no way i was standing for that shit.

They play lots of great classic songs (song idiot in front of me swooned when they started playing some of them) and they played a large number of new ones.


there was a bornig ass pianon solo form some no name.

The was a differant piano solo from axl theat led into november rain which was sweet.

near the end Sebastian Bach joind them on stage for a song which was awsome, then Bubbles from trailer park boys came out to a near standing ovation...for which i sat down..and they played liqour and whores (??)

there was one encor and then we booked it at 2:30 in the morning...thats right it was a2.5 hour set...HOWEVER

*so good, so needlesly long and full of filler*

2 10 minute guitar solos
2 10 minute piano solos
and inbewteen each song about 1-3 minutes of filler

easily an hour worth of f filler at this bloody concert.

a few points to critique

When axl was good he was freaking awsome. seriously i dont know what he's been doing since his terribel attempt at shows in 99/2000, but this is like night and day...he rocked....mostly

There were times in the show that you couldnt really hear what he was saying, which led to my theory of

* TURN DOWN THE SUCK*

Somtimes it seemed that the music got turned up and Axls mic got turned down...he was still singing, but you couldnt quite make it out..so it was like...he cant really do this part/song very well anymore, but its live, so we can hide it with noise, so no one can tell.
there were times where he very well could have just been mumbling the tune rather tahn singing.

and the biggest thing that my friend and i noticed...

*WHERE THE FUCK IS AXL*

Axl ran off the stage at least 25 times througout the show..for apparently no good reason.
he occasionall came back witha differant jacket, or shirt, or returning with a previosu jacket. each of the se random dissaperances took 2-5 minutes...far longer than need to change a shirt...what was he doig back there? another line of coke? getting his clockwork motor rewound? geting a tease of a BJ from a suicide girl?...no one knows...it happend so many times...we would be wathcing, turn to each other to make a comment, turn back and BAM "WTFIA"

this also added to the length of the show needlessly

every time he left, i wasnt sure if he was coming back, thought maybe it was the old axl coming out and he was endingthe show early for some unknown reason.

the crowed stood and cheered for the old songs and basically sat down and watched for the new stuff...not that it was bad, its just not a good idea to play new music that nobody has ever heard ..(a couple track are okay)..the problme is, most of the time people cant understandf what you are singing at a concert cause it is so loud and the settings are not ideal. people can only sing along because they already know the words.

they didnt play a song i was hoping for...the rolling stones cover sympathy for the devil. but they did play live and let die, which was sweet enough

anyway..as i said the show was great..just very long..and i am soooo tired...i'm working on 2 hours of sleep in the last 33... axl has been rejuiced, and kicks ass...even if he is still super fucked...I look forward to the album...if it one day graces shelves of music stores around the world....I recorded most of the old songs at the show, audio at least..i will be puting them on my computer and seeing if any of them acctually turned out..heres hoping anyway.

thats about it...this is long enough,,,thanks for bearing through it.

the rest of the night ws uneventfull...except for getting lost on my way out of that stupid city

untill next time...

Stolen Property

I will fully admit, that when I am bored, yet dont really feel like doing a real update (when most of the time i dont get comments anyway) I steel great ideas from friends, and try and steel thier fire a bit...or i just think they had a neat idea, and want to do a follow up.

So stolen from the Pages of MB once again, here is my list of skeletons in the entertainment shelf. but i cant do the fancy picture thing from my work computer for some reason.


Movie: Final Fatasy: Spirits within

What is it: 3-d CG movie, from the makers of the Final Fantasy video games

Why i have it: cause its awsome..sucked in the refereance to FF, but as far as animated fantasy movies go, i love it.



Movie: Matrix reloaded

What is it: First of 2 sequals to the amazing matrix movie (yes made i faced that addiction as well)

Why I have it: Cause i worked at a music/movie store when it came out, and i hadnt seen it yet...had I dont so I would have avoided it like the black death.


Movie: Sky Captain and the world of tomorrow

What is it: completly cg animated sets, props and locations, with real actors:
Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Angelina Jolie, about some airplanes and shit, i dont even know....so really What is it:...crap in a dvd case

Why I have it: My mom won it on a radio call in contest at the station i now work for, she gave it to me..i tried watching it...and failed.

Movie: Vertical limit

What is it: Mountain climbers, gone to rescue someone or other, bad guys trying to do somthing, avalanches insue, triumph over adversity..blah blah blah...oh and Chris O'donnal..a VERY small redeeming quality.

Why i have it: an ill advised x-mas gift from the aunt and unlce that despite knowing me my whol elife, know Nothing about me.


Movie: Trick or Treat

What is it: 80's horror movie based on backwards satanic messages in records, bringing a demon version of a fictional dead rocker back to life to kill people. cameos by Ozzy Osbourn ( a priest) and Gene Simmons (a radio dj)

Why i have it: my brother had it when i was a kid and i loved it, its rock and roll, cheesy horror..come on. and i got it for 5 dollars on dvd from work with discount.


Movie(s): house 1 and 2

What is it (they); more 80's horror. basically you guessed it, a haunted house, parallell dimensions, etc and characters in each played by guys from cheers.

Why i have it: saw as a kid, always talked about it, made friends rent and watch it, we laughed our asses off (more at the second one)... got cheep on dvd this halloween


Movie: Blood and Donuts

What is it: Canadian horror movie. Vampire, doesnt want to be around anymore, goes into hibertaion in the 60's wakes up in the 90's. Go to an old hnag our that was once a bar and is now a donut/coffe shop. Meets buffoon friend
who needs help with gangstars...cast of unknowns.

Why i have it: it was on at 2:00 in the morning, saw the title, was like, WTF, started watching it, turned out to be good (in that its cheesy, bad, its supposed ot be kind of way) ..ordered for cheap while working at HMV..still love it.

Thats my list, enjoy and if your a friend who may be interested in wathcing any of these wonderfull titles..just let me know...i'm always game

A post A post A real post (that turned into a rant)

I figured it was time to do an acctual post, seeing as i have been saying i would.

A topic that I have disccused with friends in the past. I dont bring it up all that often, cause its not THAT big of a deal.

Alcohol. Basically if you know me, you know i dont drink, i dont mean i dont drink very much or very often, i DONT drink. Its just not for me. Most people assume that means that i am completly against drinking and that i hate people who do, or that i am always judging them.

NOT TRUE

I dont care if you drink, its your chice just as my not drinking is mine. I respect your choice AS LONG as you respect mine.

I dont care if you want ti drink and have infact on a number of occasions been the DD. And I have laughed my ass off at drunk friends.

Now where i do take issue is when it becomes a problem, or an excuse.

When you NEED to drink, then i dont like it and think its a problem.

Examples. You refuse to go to a party because there wont be boose, and you cant drink. You go to a party but have to drive so you cant drink and you are misserable.

Basically if you are unable to have fun or enjoy your self at a social gathering with out getting shit faced. THAT i dont like.

Or when drinking becomes an excuse. the whole liqued courage argument. doing dumb shit and using alcohol as an excuse.

Example. guys get really drunk, head out and start breaking shit and think they are except from responseability because they were drunk and dont remeber it.

Or when you do stuff you regret/dont remember because you were drunk.

Example: Girl gets really drunk, hooks up with some guy, gets fucked by him...doesnt remeber the next day untill someone tells her....THATS a problem.

Or Girld Gets really drunk, fucks some guy and then regrest it and wishes she hadnt done it, and says the only reason she did is because she was hammered.

If you cant control yourself and stop yourself from doing somthing you know is wrong, or will not be happy about in the morning Thats a problem.

If you cant remeber anything about the night before ( i dont care about small details, like not remeber saying some random thing) thats a problem.

If every single time you drink and get hammerd and feel like absolute hsit in the morning and for the next 2 days, and swear up and down that you wont drink/(drink that much) EVER again...and 7 days later your in the exact same place....

THEN I may loose some respect for you.

Or how about if a friend is willing to give you 400 bucks is you can go 1 month without drinking, and gets notthing if you do. and you loose after just one day....or call off the entire deal with just one week left and say (and this is close to an exact quote) "its not worth it to me, i have been a total bitch to everyone since this fucking bet started, and its just not worth it, i am a wreck when i am not drinking, so its done, this bet is off'


What has caused me to talk about this is a friend of mine, the closest thing i have to a best friend, recently got dumped by his first long term girlfriend...we were recomeneding he break up with her month upon months ago, but of course he never did. basically in my oppinion she was a total bitch to him (from stuff he told us, only met her a few times) and treated him like crap, even though he deserves so much better. but understandably when the time comes it still hurts like a bitch.

How does my best friend handle it? By cutting off contact with just about everybody (myself included) moping around and....you gussed it, drinking like it was going out of style. He turned to the bottle to solve his problem....which of course it doesnt.

This bugs me, I dont like to see people act like this, it makes me sad. Esspecially when most of the people i know who do these things are better, stronger and smarter than that.

there are so many better ways to deal with these kinds of things. I love my girl friend so much, it would devistate me if we ever broke up, i would be misserable to be sure. but i would NOT try and drown myself with shit. I would try my best to get over it as quickly as possible ( i realise its easier said than done, i've been there before). Like right now.

My dad is on the verge of death and i highly doubt he will make it to the year 2007, yeah its morbid, yeah its depressing, yeah its pessimistic...but its true. I am to the point, because he has deteriorated so mcuh that i want them to stop trying and just let him go, because he is barely there and getting worse, and its hard to see him. Thats fucked up and you know it. I am sitting here prepareing for my father to pass away. i did the crying thing the first night when i was told what was going on. and havnt since...it might sound cold, but i'm dealing with it in my own way
. and i am sure i will cry when he is acctualy gone, but as each day goes by, i am begining to doubt that more and more and it pisses me off but i think i will be more relived....anyway pardon the tangent, the point is...

Yeah life sucks right now, some bad shit has happend to you, but just fucking deal with it, dont try and wash it out of your head with poisons, cause never mind the normal chemicals in the drugs, that are not good for you, that method of dealing with shit isnt good for you.


Just so we are clear...i dont care that you drink just do it responsibly and dont be an idiot...and dont judge me for not drinking, in the way you think i judge you.



PS: why is it that 90% of the time when i tell new people that i dont drink at all, they almost unfailingly go on about how "thats the smart thing to do", "I should do that", "I wish i could do that" , "man your smart, i wish i was like that", "hey man good for you, dont be like me"
I have heard those prases so many times in the last 4.5 years since i stopped drinking (thats right i was once one of you). yet nobody follows up on it...if you want to stop drinking...just fucking do it....oh and if you say "i dont drink either" and you acctually occasionaly do? dont fucking lie...say.."i dont drink very much, or very often" ...as with everything else, when you say you dont drink, mean it and back it up"

That random music tag game

A friend told me to do this, so what the hey.

This would likley work better at home, but i only seem to update this thing here at work...makes sense right?

so all music, put it on random, fill in the blanks with the current music, i dont fully get it but what ever.


Opening Credits: Muse - Muscle museum
Waking Up: She Wants revenge - she loves me, she loves me not
Falling In Love: Ima Robot - paint the town red
Fight Song: Queen - keep your self alive - (early bootleg version)
Breaking Up: Meatloaf - Cry over me (bat out of hell III) ( i shit you not)
Making up: Interpol - slow hands
Life's Ok: Modest mouse - tiny cities made of ashes
Mental Breakdown: Freddie Mercury (as larry lurex) - I can hear music
Driving: She wants revenge - out of control
Flashbacks: Meatloaf with Marion Raven - Its all coming back to me now (yes the celine dion song covered by meatloaf...once again, i shit you not)
Regret: Freddie Mercury (as Larry Lurex) - Going Back
Final Battle: Meatloaf featuring brian may of queen - Bad for good
Death Scene: Queen - the night comes down
Final Credits: Nine inch nails WITH DAVID BOWIE - Hurt


some of those were pretty creepy how they worked out, but i assure you that i did not rig it in any way.

so yeah, i highly recomened the new meatloaf album, and stocking your collection with as much queen related material as you can.